you make time for me, i can't understand

So I absolutely love when God gives a revelation to me, and then I realize that it actually happened twice, cuz i didn't get it the first time! haha, but He knew it was gonna happen, so he decided to give me twice the sadness (in a light-hearted kinda way) first!!

It must have been about a month ago (wow!) that both my iPod and my camera broke in like the same week. And I totally did not know WHAT in the WORLD was going on! Those, I must tell you, are two key components to my everyday living.
Thankfully, I have a computer to play my music on and another camera that has wayy worse quality, but it's still a camera! I went a few weeks w/o them both and SURVIVED! lol.
About 2 wks ago I went to the apple store at Village Pointe, and tell them about my iPod. It just froze one day, and I even plugged it in to my computer but it wouldn't do anything. But SOMEHOW, when the guy looked at it and plugged it in, it turned on right away and worked perfectly! Oh my gosh, I felt like a dork. but at least i got my iPod working again! haha
Today I went to get my camera fixed. So I go to Rockbrook Camera and tell them that the lens wouldn't go back into the camera and stuff...and the guy pops the lens back in and it, take a guess, worked perfectly! oh my goodness, again, i felt like an idiot cuz i had tried that before and it didn't work! I thought it was this big prob. that would have costed me some money to get fixed...but it took two seconds for the guy to repair.

So then later tonight I had an "AHA!" moment from God. When we try to fix our problems all by ourselves, we can't. It seems impossible, and like it will cost us something to fix! but then, as a last resort, we hand it over to God, and he pops the lens back in as easy as that! the only thing we end up losing is our pride, which is a good thing. Why couldn't I have done it? because it took a professional. God is a professional at fixing our problems, no matter how big or small they are.

Just Stop and Think

it's so interesting that when you are just going day-to-day, living life, you don't really notice all the little things in life.I was sick the weekend before this past one, with a cold. But last monday and tuesday were basically torture for me. I could barely breathe, I had a staggering headache, cough, stuffy nose, and basically just wanted to DIE. I love having a dad who's a doctor, because he was able to order me in an inhaler on monday nite. (Hey, both my dads are doctors!! =] that's pretty sweet!)
anyways, Wednesday and Thursday were absolutely AMAZING! I have felt so free...I could actually breathe, I noticed the warm sun on my face, and was able to enjoy God's beautiful creation.He never ceases to amaze me. I've started reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan...and have only ready through the 1st 1.5 chapters, but it is an awesome book. One of the things that Chan tells us over and over in the book is just to stop and think for a minute. We get so caught up in our daily lives...wake up, go to school, go to work, eat dinner with the family, go out with friends, do homework, watch tv, go to bed, wake up, go to school, you get the idea...that we really dont take time to stop and think.I encourage you to watch this video. yes, it's 15 min long, but it is totally worth it.



~Romans 12:1-2 "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."~ (the message)

full and complete trust

So, if you know me, or have gotten to know me...even just a little bit in the past few months, this is probably old news to you , but bear with me. I went to a conference this summer called Desperation Conference. It's in Colorado Springs, CO at New Life Church. Basically, it's a three day worship fest with speakers and awesome worship bands leading worship. The host of this event is the Desperation Band. They are an amazing worship team being used by God to change this generation! Anyways, so I went to this conference in Colorado this summer and one (of the MANY, i might add) things that I thought God was speaking to me about is my future, because I had just graduated high school and was planning on going to UNO this year and then transferring. But for some reason, MY whole plan that I had for MY life was put into question. One of the things they were really advertising at this conference was Desperation Leadership Academy (DLA). DLA is basically an internship at New Life and with the Desperation Band plus this 24/7 program that is put on by their church. 24/7 is basically a discipleship program along with a high fitness program. And so for some reason, I felt like God was kinda opening this door for me to do this next semester. It's an 8 month program and would replace my 2nd semester at UNO. I got SUPER excited about doing this, because it was gonna be an awesome time where I felt that I would be able to figure out what exactly my calling was, etc.
Well, I felt this way up through the beginning of August (the conference was in July). I was actually leaning towards that than more school at UNO. Then in the middle of August, my youth group had this retreat and I went to it. It was an incredible 3 days that I'm not going into details with right now (that's another blog post). And again, one of the things I was thinking about and praying about was this DLA. And by the end of the retreat, I asked God to give me 3 confirmations if I should do this. And I talked to some other people about it, and they were cool with it, but it wasn't really like people were totally like, "YAH YOU SHOULD DO IT!!" type of thing.
I get home the night after this amazing retreat and I'm having dinner with my dad and brothers. I bring up the retreat for a 2nd time with my dad (we had discussed it earlier in July and he was on the fence about it). This time was different though. This time he basically told me in between the lines of his words that he doesn't think it's the best idea for me. I WAS DEVASTATED, let me tell you. I had just gotten back from this amazing time with the Lord and thought that this is what I wanted to do, and my dad basically kills that dream.
But for some silly reason, I didn't want to give it up! I was so intent on going to DLA for ME that I was basically not even listening to God. I was praying, "God, let my dad change his mind about this. Please just give me three confirmations so I know this is you."
Guess what? I didn't get my three confirmations. FINALLY I let down. FINALLY I said "Ok God." The thing was, DLA for me was exactly that FOR ME. It would be a great time of seeking God, getting to know him better, fellowshipping with other Christians, etc. But it's not where God wants me. and I can finally see that now.
I think sometimes thats how we get. We want this thing SO BAD that we will basically BEG for it, but really God is telling us "No, that's not for you. I have something BETTER planned..."
Now I'm just starting to realize what that something is in my situation. I have started getting more and more involved in the high school youth group at my church. I am one of the leaders of the cell group of all girls I go to, I'm becoming a leader at the service, I'm becoming a coach of a Teen Bible Quiz team, etc. I'm also continuing to help with the prayer team at my high school. And I know I want to go into some kind of youth ministry when I get out of school. DLA would have been a great "program" but it would not have prepared me, i don't think, for my calling in ministry. This, what I am doing right now, is preparing me!
Sometimes our vision is SO FOGGED UP, our heads are SO BIG, and our eyes are not really SEEING what God has for us. And guess what? We aren't supposed to know. I heard this once...If God showed us exactly what our lives would be like, exactly what we would do each and every day, what would be worth living for? We need to be like Abraham. God told him to leave Ur of the Chaldees without telling him where He would lead him. And you know what? Abraham TRUSTED in God, and followed Him.

Prov. 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Here I Am, I Am Yours

Just out of curiousity, when you first read/say this, what do you think of?
Well, I had always said it from my perspective, "Here I am, I am Yours, Lord!!" But that isn't the only way you can think of it.
I was at a youth retreat a week or so ago and we were having an amazing time of worship, just seeking God's face. And we got into a time where there were no set lyrics, we were each singing our own songs from our hearts to the Lord. and then the vocalists on stage might start singing into the mic and we would sing along for a little while.
Well, we were singing these words over and over again, "Here I am, I am Yours." And I was singing them from me to God, because something I had in my heart many times over this summer was "Here am I, send me." Then one of the worship leaders, when the music died down, started speaking. And one of the things he said that really spoke to me was that it is not necessarily me speaking to God these words...it is HIM SPEAKING TO US.
He is saying, "Here I am, Allie, I am yours." Wow, how amazing is that.


I am my beloved's and He is mine!!