full and complete trust

So, if you know me, or have gotten to know me...even just a little bit in the past few months, this is probably old news to you , but bear with me. I went to a conference this summer called Desperation Conference. It's in Colorado Springs, CO at New Life Church. Basically, it's a three day worship fest with speakers and awesome worship bands leading worship. The host of this event is the Desperation Band. They are an amazing worship team being used by God to change this generation! Anyways, so I went to this conference in Colorado this summer and one (of the MANY, i might add) things that I thought God was speaking to me about is my future, because I had just graduated high school and was planning on going to UNO this year and then transferring. But for some reason, MY whole plan that I had for MY life was put into question. One of the things they were really advertising at this conference was Desperation Leadership Academy (DLA). DLA is basically an internship at New Life and with the Desperation Band plus this 24/7 program that is put on by their church. 24/7 is basically a discipleship program along with a high fitness program. And so for some reason, I felt like God was kinda opening this door for me to do this next semester. It's an 8 month program and would replace my 2nd semester at UNO. I got SUPER excited about doing this, because it was gonna be an awesome time where I felt that I would be able to figure out what exactly my calling was, etc.
Well, I felt this way up through the beginning of August (the conference was in July). I was actually leaning towards that than more school at UNO. Then in the middle of August, my youth group had this retreat and I went to it. It was an incredible 3 days that I'm not going into details with right now (that's another blog post). And again, one of the things I was thinking about and praying about was this DLA. And by the end of the retreat, I asked God to give me 3 confirmations if I should do this. And I talked to some other people about it, and they were cool with it, but it wasn't really like people were totally like, "YAH YOU SHOULD DO IT!!" type of thing.
I get home the night after this amazing retreat and I'm having dinner with my dad and brothers. I bring up the retreat for a 2nd time with my dad (we had discussed it earlier in July and he was on the fence about it). This time was different though. This time he basically told me in between the lines of his words that he doesn't think it's the best idea for me. I WAS DEVASTATED, let me tell you. I had just gotten back from this amazing time with the Lord and thought that this is what I wanted to do, and my dad basically kills that dream.
But for some silly reason, I didn't want to give it up! I was so intent on going to DLA for ME that I was basically not even listening to God. I was praying, "God, let my dad change his mind about this. Please just give me three confirmations so I know this is you."
Guess what? I didn't get my three confirmations. FINALLY I let down. FINALLY I said "Ok God." The thing was, DLA for me was exactly that FOR ME. It would be a great time of seeking God, getting to know him better, fellowshipping with other Christians, etc. But it's not where God wants me. and I can finally see that now.
I think sometimes thats how we get. We want this thing SO BAD that we will basically BEG for it, but really God is telling us "No, that's not for you. I have something BETTER planned..."
Now I'm just starting to realize what that something is in my situation. I have started getting more and more involved in the high school youth group at my church. I am one of the leaders of the cell group of all girls I go to, I'm becoming a leader at the service, I'm becoming a coach of a Teen Bible Quiz team, etc. I'm also continuing to help with the prayer team at my high school. And I know I want to go into some kind of youth ministry when I get out of school. DLA would have been a great "program" but it would not have prepared me, i don't think, for my calling in ministry. This, what I am doing right now, is preparing me!
Sometimes our vision is SO FOGGED UP, our heads are SO BIG, and our eyes are not really SEEING what God has for us. And guess what? We aren't supposed to know. I heard this once...If God showed us exactly what our lives would be like, exactly what we would do each and every day, what would be worth living for? We need to be like Abraham. God told him to leave Ur of the Chaldees without telling him where He would lead him. And you know what? Abraham TRUSTED in God, and followed Him.

Prov. 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege Him, and He will make your paths straight."